For the first time in what feels like forever, Angelina Jolie spoke about her split with Brad Pitt, saying that after years of ‘healing,’ she’s starting to feel like the pain is ‘melting’ and life is ‘returning to my body.’

It’s not every day that reserved Angelina Jolie opens up about her breakup with Brad Pitt. Though the Eternals star doesn’t mention Brad, 57, by name in her interview with British Vogue, Angie, 45, indirectly refers to their 2016 split when asked if she feels as if she’s at a “happy stage” in her life.  “I don’t know. The past few years have been pretty hard,” said Angelina. “I’ve been focusing on healing our family. It’s slowly coming back, like the ice melting and the blood returning to my body.”

“But I’m not there. I’m not there yet,” she continued. “But I hope to be. I’m planning on it. I do like being older. I feel much more comfortable in my forties than I did when I was younger. Maybe because… I don’t know… maybe because my mom didn’t live very long, so there’s something about age that feels like a victory instead of a sadness for me.”

Angelina does mention Brad – somewhat — when asked about living in the former estate of Hollywood icon Cecil B. DeMille. “I wanted it to be close to their dad, who is only five minutes away,” said Angie. “I felt a little pressure moving in. Like I had snuck into where DeMille and Chaplin would hang out. I love most that there is no entertainment room, but lots of pathways and places to walk and think. I feel very fortunate we have that at this time.”

Despite the proximity of Brad and Angie’s houses, it seems that the two remain as divided as ever when it comes to finalizing a permanent custody agreement for their children — Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, Knox, and Vivienne. Recently, this conflict reportedly led to Brad spending Christmas with only three of his and Angie’s kids, instead of all together like a family. None of this acrimony appeared in Angie’s interview with British Vogue. Instead, she raved about her family while downplaying herself when it comes to being a “traditional” mom.

“Well, I was never good at sitting still,” she said. “Even though I wanted to have many children and be a mom, I always imagined it kind of like Jane Goodall, traveling in the middle of the jungle somewhere. I didn’t imagine it in that true, traditional sense. I feel like I’m lacking in all the skills to be a traditional stay-at-home mom. I’m managing through it because the children are quite resilient, and they’re helping me, but I’m not good at it at all.”

After the interviewer protested at Angie’s assessment, the Girl, Interrupted star continued to praise her kids. “Well, I love them. I feel like we’re such a team. It may sound clichéd, but you love, and you try, and even if you burn the eggs, that doesn’t matter in the end. But also, you’ve met our kids. They’re pretty capable.”

“Aw, well, I feel like it’s a big deal if they accept me, you know?” she continued. “I mean, that’s the thing for a lot of mothers, and for a lot of parents regardless. But I think even more so if you have adopted children. They have to choose you, too. It’s not the parents’ family, and they’re in it. It’s our family.”